dreamchylde artworks

oh man

2009-09-15T17:18:20Z

So the kid was messing about with some of her favorite toys, the measuring cups in a kitchen drawer.

D says to her: "You know you shouldn't be playing with those, you scatter them to the four winds and it drives daddy insane."

Kid: "And?"

Not even 18 months old, folks.

Warning: the following is a "my kid is so damn cute" story

2009-07-21T20:45:27Z

Saturday, D and I were doing the usual weekend housework. I was in the kitchen, working a sinkful of dishes, D was in the living room sweeping and vacuuming. Maya was wandering back and forth between both rooms. Supervising, right?

D came in to the kitchen, emptied the vacuum canister, and pulled the full bag from the kitchen trash. She set it on the floor and grabbed a fresh bag for the can. Maya wandered in, grabbed the full trash bag by its top, and started dragging it towards the back door where the big trashcan is. Once she had it over near the door, she reached for the doorknob and tried to open the door. Since, you know, that's where the trash goes. She's seen us do it dozens of times.

We just stood and watched her, laughing, delighted that our kid wants to pitch in and do her part.

But she usually digs sharing her food.

2009-06-29T14:57:31Z

She'll hold up a bit of whatever she's got, I'll lean over and she stuffs the food in my mouth.

Yesterday morning, we're doing our usual weekend daddy-daughter breakfast, and she holds up a couple of her Cheerios for me. I lean across the tray and open my mouth... and the little snot pulls her hand back, shaking her head "no" and laughing at me.

I have no idea where she got the idea to do that, but I laughed myself sick.

You owe it to yourself

2009-06-25T12:29:19Z

to check out the Ghostbusters video game, but make sure you play it on the Wii.

That is all.

Father's Day at Binder Park Zoo

2009-06-22T16:54:11Z

davinciclone @ 2009-06-22T11:06:00

2009-06-22T15:07:29Z

So I just found out some awesome news

2009-05-22T15:48:27Z

And I mean I just found out, about two minutes ago: C's definitely got his parole, it'll be 30-45 days for processing, and then my long-lost South African stepbrother will be HOME.

Thanks to everybody for keeping the faith, and for being just as outraged as I was.

Tia, I was writing this as a reply to your comment from the other day, but I had to share this with everybody. Too awesome.

And some not-so-awesome news that came in while I was giving D the good news: she found out from the doc that the kid's still having sinus/ear/tonsil trouble and she may have another surgery in her future. Just antibiotics for now, let's hope they kick some ass.

Hey, I'm walkin' here...

2009-05-20T20:58:33Z

Yes, there's lots happening at home every day and no, I haven't been posting about it.

I should post about Maya a lot more than I do, but the truth is I've gotten a bit gun shy about posting in my own damn journal, and that's just pretty wrong. Things have been pretty quiet just lately, so here I am sticking a hat on a stick up over the edge of the trench.

But great news all around lately... Maya is doing awesome. She trips me out daily. She loves monkeys, pork chops, and Disney's Imagination Movers.

Sigh. My little girl, enamored with musicians. I hope it's a phase.

We have a tenant downstairs for the moment, maybe until the end of June, maybe longer (Speed: if you're still looking for a place around that time, e-mail me, I'm close to your work).

Some of the best non-kid news lately: C may just be getting out and coming home. His shrink went to C's parole hearing, told them that he'd checked out the case going all the way back, and that in his opinion, C doesn't belong in prison. They haven't said yes, but nearly a month after the hearing, they haven't said no, either.

Today is my daughter's first birthday.

2009-04-06T18:22:32Z

Wow. What a year.

But I'm not gonna get all Parenting magazine and talk about milestones or Harry Chapin or any of that stuff. I want to say how thankful I am for how happy, healthy, and beautiful our girl is, and how grateful I am to D for helping me out when I've been completely lost.

It's seemed like every day has been something new. Every day I've spent looking forward to what she'll surprise me with tomorrow; every day I'm surprised at how much more I love her than I did yesterday.

Okay, okay. So maybe a little bit of Parenting.

The birthday party was Saturday, and it was a huge success all around. Dad was here. Pictures? Oh yeah, lots. Video too. To be posted soon. D's sister and her little son are staying with us a couple days, so tonight we'll have leftover cake and put on some leftover party hats. She's going to come to expect it. Hey, why hasn't my dinner got a candle in it? It did last week...

I went home at lunch, and my birthday girl was very happy to see me. If that's the reaction I get, I must be doing something right.

Writer's Block: In a Jam

2009-04-02T16:50:57Z

If you were in trouble or ran afoul of the law, which fictional detective or investigator—from tv, movies, or books—would you want to help you?

View 500 Answers

Since I have a nose for trouble, I'm gonna have to say Jake Gittes.

Sunny and 50 degrees and hey holy cow I just woke up

2009-03-16T18:37:07Z

I think I have that seasonal whatchacallit disorder, because holy shit. I haven't felt like this since I can't remember when... sometime last year, anyway. I've been concentrating on making it through, and I've neglected posting, even the cool stuff that's been going on.

So here: cool stuff I haven't talked about.

Maya is whip-smart. Yes, every parent says that (and every parent says "every parent says that") but in addition to gearing up to walk for her first birthday, which will be the HOLY CRAP WHERE DOES TIME GO subject of an upcoming post, the girl loves story time. We read every night, after dinner and bathtime. Or any other time she comes up to me with a book, which is often (and awesome). Her favorites: Hop on Pop, Goodnight Moon, and a couple by Sandra Boynton, Moo Baa La La La and But Not the Hippopotamus (one of daddy's favorites, because it's fun to say "hippopotamus". If you don't think it's fun to say "hippopotamus", there's something wrong with you). In the past week, Maya has started turning the pages for me, and pointing out things in the book, the way I do when I read to her. Pretty cool. That's next on daddy's ever-growing "to film" list. Good thing she's getting a pile of Dr. Seuss for her birthday.

She loves hummus, probably because it formed such a large part of D's pregnancy diet. If we can't get her to eat something, we smear it in hummus. Works every time. It's not like she needs nothing but soft food, she has teeth. And holy smoke are they sharp.

I saw Watchmen yesterday. I don't know if it's ever come up what a huge nerd-on I have for the book, but, well... I have a huge nerd-on for the book. Like a twenty-plus year nerd-on. I first read the book when it was being released, monthly. I caught on around issue three and by issue eight I was hanging around Barry's shop off the Orange Circle like a goddamn junkie. "It's not here yet!" Barry would yell at me between blasts from an icy garden hose. "You're gonna have to wait like everyone else! Get off my sidewalk, you lousy fiend!" I posted a thing, where else? Overall I really did like it. It didn't seem like almost three hours, and I could have sat through more.

More soon.

PUNK RAWK

2009-02-27T14:59:48Z

For Valentine's Day, D gave me a Wii.

2009-02-16T13:24:43Z

Best girl ever.

I had a rotten Friday. The servers were being temperamental, and even though I got things done, I didn't get them done as early in the day as I wanted. We had to get the rear brakes on the Jimmy done (ain't gonna say how much that was, but holy shit). And finally, I got home and found a very threatening letter about my back state taxes. I was ready to kill and D knew it, so she said to Maya, "well, why don't we give daddy his gift early, because he's had a rotten day?" And she brought it on out, all wrapped up. Huh. Heavy box, what could this be?

WOW.

Yeah, of course I love having the thing itself, you know. I've wanted one ever since they announced the damn thing, when it still had some other name. But to have her get me one, especially when you consider that at best, she just tolerates my video game habit, is amazing. No big deal, she says: you do so much for us. Besides, that look on your face when you opened it was worth it.

Some friends of ours got a huge tax return, picked one up for themselves. D happened to be there and asked them to grab me one as well.

That girl is too much.

So, a couple of you have a Wii, right? What with the brake job, I'm getting by on Wii Sports and a borrowed copy of TNA Impact. What do I have to have, aside from Super Smash Brothers Brawl, Super Mario Galaxy, and Zelda: Twilight Princess?

This is why I'm hopeless at shopping for kids' clothes:

2009-02-04T13:48:56Z

Found a cute "baby's first birthday" outfit last night. Size on the tag: 24 months.

I deleted all the KISS albums from my iPod.

2009-01-19T21:51:56Z

All the enjoyment I ever got out of them has been killed, forever.

Okay, so:

2009-01-12T14:30:23Z

You still don't scare me. Really, I have no fear of you whatsoever. What I feel for you is an awful mix of disgust, rage, and a tremendous dose of pity. But you're not calling just me these days, and mine are not the only feelings I need to consider. And really, man, what the fuck: you accuse me of stalking you? I never looked up the names and numbers of your friends and relatives, never made calls to them pretending to be a P.I., and I certainly never told them you were wanted for felonies in four states.

By the way, the friends you told that to, my former tenants? We haven't been on great terms for awhile, haven't been speaking, but they called D and gave her the heads-up on your little phone games. Pretty damn cool of them, don't you think?

Anyway, I've done you a solid. I deleted all links to your pages all references to you by your real name and all references to you by band name. From now on, you are That Pinhead. And yes, the story stays right the fuck where it is--on this I will not negotiate. I'll even give up on posting the caricatures--for now.

And now, you can do me a little favor: you can remove all references to me from your little Google newsgroup that you think I don't know about, or I can have Google do it for you. Don't worry, I'll tell you all of this when my phone rings later today.

I have filed a police report with my local cops about your phone calls. I plan on talking to the local DA about a restraining order. I'm going to pursue further legal action that will ensure you remove every slanderous thing you have ever written in connection with my name, and that you can never contact me or my family again.

I AM DONE WITH YOU, understand me?

Writer's Block: The Wrath of Ohrwurm

2008-11-26T13:59:57Z

German has a word for everything, like ohrwurm. Translated literally as "earworm" in English, it's the word for songs that get stuck in your head and won't go away. What earworm of a song do you most dread burrowing into your head?

Submitted By willard41

View 500 Answers

If I tell, it'll just get stuck there again AND I AIN'T FALLING FOR THAT OLD TRICK

Ten things I want to teach my daughter

2008-11-24T15:55:08Z

Stolen from elsewhere online. Thought it was pretty cool, but figured I'd change a few things here and there:

1. Don't let other people decide your future for you. Your dad is included in this list of "other people". I want what's best for you, but you have to decide what's best.

2. Beware of any group, political party, religion, or person who claim to have all the answers or to know the "true" way. No one has all the answers, and there is no one true way. People who make claims of having special knowledge will only lead you into trouble.

3. Love your family. You will have ups and downs throughout your lives, but if you let your family be your best friends, then no matter what happens, you'll have someone to lean on.

4. Learn about the world. School will give you limited information, with most of it slanted a certain way. Learn as much as you can about other cultures and beliefs so that you can better understand both the world and yourself.

5. There are very few situations you'll encounter in life that can't be made more bearable by a Beatles song.

6. Read everything you can, but definitely the following books: The Giving Tree, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and The Wizard of Oz.

7. I'm always proud of you, even when you screw up.

8. No one sports team is inherently better (or really any different) than any other. Professional wrestlers are a different matter entirely.

9. There's nothing you can't tell me or your mother.

10. Nothing I'll ever accomplish will be more important or more significant than being your dad. You'll feel the same way when you have kids...after you turn 40 and I let you start dating.

Is it still camwhoring if someone else takes the picture?

2008-10-28T17:28:37Z

One of the guys in the office got a new camera, so he went around and took pictures of everyone this morning. I haven't had a picture taken of me in while that doesn't have a baby in it, so. Pretty cool: went home for lunch and stopped at 7-11 to grab a gallon of water and one of our local radio stations was up there doing a promo... buy a Slurpee, get a free shirt, spin the prize wheel. Since I never really need an excuse to buy a Slurpee, I got to spin that wheel and I got myself a free DVD of The Incredible Hulk. Dude offered me The Strangers at first. Even though I am a big horror fan, I can only see myself watching that once, so I asked for Hulk instead. So hey, I'M A WINNER and stuff. EDIT: for some weird reason, all my HTML tags came out as text, except for the picture. So I ditched 'em. That's weird. EDIT 2 (5/21/09): For some odd reason, the image got deleted from Imageshack. Golly, isn't that strange.

Meme time

2008-10-09T20:40:08Z

If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now (even if we don't speak often or ever) please post a comment with a completely made up, fictional memory of you and me.

It can be anything you want - good or bad - but it has to be fake.

When you're finished, post this little paragraph in your LJ and see what your friends come up with.

Yes, I'm still kickin', I just post less. Baby's good. Six months old this week.

A deal's a deal.

2008-09-22T14:23:43Z

"Here's the deal: below are my answers to 30 questions. The questions are secret. If you want to know them, you have to agree to do this meme and post it in your own journal. If you're down for that, drop me a comment and I'll email you the questions."

Huh. Is it cheating that Maya's the answer to so many of these?

1. treefrog
2. hildolf
3. Maya, just to see what she sees, and only for a day. Then again, she'd be getting the worst of that deal.
4. I'd like to think everyone I'm close to would be.
5. All you all, and I'm glad for it.
6. miss tia
7. I've always liked the misfits so much better.
8. Again, all you all. We'd have had our own table.
9. hildolf. It'd probably be for the millionth time, but definitely.
10. elle. I want to learn this from her, too.
11. Someone not on LJ.
12. Maya.
13. All of you that I only know online seem that way to me, in a way.
14. Auntie.
15. Actually, that's what I'm planning as the theme for my 40th birthday party (Dec. 2010). Consider this your official invite, whether you can make it or not, you're invited.
16. None of you (in the good way)
17. All of you (in the good way)
18. Maya.
19. Miss Tia
20. Miss Tia
21. hildolf, just like always
22. All of you, but none better than others.
23. Maya.
24. hildolf.
25. hildolf, and "seems" has nothing to do with it. That man's a pro.
26. None of you. I pretty well got past all that before I even thought of trying it online, thank God.
27. elle.
28. All of you, just us, charter.
29. Double, maybe. You know: I bring mine, you bring yours.
30. You make having this silly thing worthwhile.

Well, I did say I wanted a little musician

2008-09-17T19:18:26Z

I just ripped into some poor schmuck from the Writer's Block page

2008-09-02T19:48:14Z

All talking about how Sarah Palin was some "shrewd" pick for the Republicans (my responses follow). Like I told that guy: I knew someone's response on the writer's block page would disgust me, and he was the big winner.

I spent the weekend finding out more and more about Gov. Palin, and getting sicker and sicker as I did. This woman represents everything in America that makes me sick: abuse of power, pushing of a conservative religious agenda favored by a small cross-section of the population, and the utterly baffling notion that someone can fail straight upward.

I hope that McCain's blunder blows up in his face, that women all over the nation are disgusted with the Republicans' attempt to pander to their Hillary-less campaign hopes by basically saying, "well, you wanted to vote for a woman... we got one!"

Sorry, Tia: I drank the Obama Flavor-Ade a long time ago. I was gonna be strong, I was gonna vote independent, but there's no one out there I agree with the way I agree with Obama.

Just so you don't continue to think I'm talking out my ass or anything

2008-08-21T20:21:48Z

Click here...

Where you'll find this useful bit of information:
The use of celebrity persona for satirical purposes falls outside the celebrity right to privacy. When a photograph or celebrity impersonation is intended to satirize the public persona of the celebrity in question, his or her personality is not being used for commercial purposes.

Or you can click here, where you'll find this:
The legal analysis reaches the conclusion that most of the on-line uses fall outside of the infringement of publicity rights, given the communicative nature of the Internet...
Any use of the celebrity's persona as part of this communicative exchange would be permissible, even though the image or opinions purported might not be the ones intended by the celebrity herself. But one cannot ban speech just because it is distasteful, or because one disagrees with it or dislikes it.

Still not good enough? How about downloading the PDF here, which discusses a situation just like the one we find ourselves in here.

Thanks for playing, Pinhead. You'll be seeing a good bit of Constitutionally-protected satire in the very near future.

Oh, it gets better.

2008-08-21T15:29:22Z

Yesterday, I posted a link to my collected adventures with our favorite rockstar, and I noticed that while my back was turned, imageshack cowed to public pressure and made my two caricatures 403-FORBIDDEN. That's fine. They're still on my hard drive and I'll just upload them again. And again. And again, if necessary. Or possibly I'll find myself a nice host that won't kowtow to threats and intimidation.

Anyone know of one?

I've also decided that if it's really gotta be damned if I do, damned if I don't, I'd rather do. Fortunately for me, I'm a gigantic goddamn packrat and I can never throw anything away, so as of today, the larger artworks go back into production. It was close, too. I almost burned the big illustration I've started, I almost burned the studies I've done and the pictures I printed from your site to get the makeup just right, and I almost photographed myself doing so so you'd know I'd done it. I really wanted this to be at an end, Pinhead. I left you alone, just like I said I would. I didn't mention you, I mentioned a site that I've had a lot more to do with than just the bullshit with you, and WHAM, everyone who commented on it gets a profane little visit from you. Tia got threats. I got baseless accusations of a nature that I find so reprehensible that...

...well, let's just leave it at that. There are accusations you do not just throw out there. There are things you should never even mention. You think I don't know plenty about you that I would find it in poor taste to even go into, Pinhead? You bet I do. But I don't go into that because it's none of my business. My family is none of yours. You got a problem with me, then you deal with me.

Oh, and by "deal with me", I don't mean coughing up Tourette's-style anonymous posts on my journal. Address a specific grievance. Sign your name to it. Discourse, man. Or don't, and just keep helping me prove that every word I've written and every caricature I've drawn is entirely accurate and free of hyperbole.

So listen up, Pinhead... yeah, you, the one who's painted himself up a huge target on his back: for good or ill, you've released an album and it is offered for sale, therefore "[Drug Reference Persona Name]", your little Kiss ripoff made-up self, is a public persona, which can be caricatured and, for the umpteenth goddamn time, falls under fair use.

And as always, my offer stands: if you want to drop the cowardly anonymous bullshit and try debating anything I've said, like a man, this is where you'll find me. Or you can just go right ahead and continue your harassment of me (and it is and always has been you harassing me). It just lends weight to my arguments. I haven't done anything more than relay my experiences in how you present yourself to the world, and you've never done anything to prove me wrong. No, you've simply tried suppressing everything that I have to say on the subject.

And truthfully, I am sick to death of this shit. I'm tired of going through this every time you get a bug up your ass about me, every time you get a bad batch of whatever drugs you're on and decide that you're going to bother me yet again. It makes me sick to think you've been out there keeping tabs on my journal, just waiting for the one post that displeased your diseased sense of justice.